ES​-​tro​-​jen​-​z

by firestarter

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1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
03:40
6.
04:38

credits

released April 23, 2016

all tracks written and performed by Jaye Kovach except for:

modular synth on track 1 by Ernie Dulanowsky (a.k.a. pulsewidth)
back-up vocals on track 2 by Amber Goodwyn

recorded, mixed and mastered by Jaye Kovach with editing on track 4 by Joseph Dunn.

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about

firestarter regina, Saskatchewan

Jaye from Homo Monstrous.

One time she was banned from the gay bar because they thought she was planning to burn it down.

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Track Name: ES-tro-jen-z (feat. pulsewidth)
dude you act like i'm contagious
and like i kind of wish i was
typhoid mary of the gays
*coughing* oh hey cool now you like wearing dresses too
wanna make out

"you'd look hot in some women's lingerie. serious. y'ever think about doin' that?"
LOL yeah maybe with my boot planted firmly on your face
dude i've been sick for like 5 years
chronic pain sapping my strength
but this tiny blue pill gives me super powers

i am your fucking vengeful god
but for like twenty bucks i could absolve you of your guilt
consider it an indulgence
mother mary full of grace forgive us of our sins

like i dunno if you've read many fairytales
but you totally need to sacrifice something to the witch
so hurry up and make with the presents
because i've been listening to you whisper literal nothings in my ear
for longer than i'd care to admit
Track Name: Fine (feat. Amber Goodwyn)
there's no excuse for apathy
poor one out for your missed opportunities
you think you're pretty special
all you do is get drunk
if you stayed sober you probably would've got some

don't wanna live a normal life
don't wanna live a normal lie
they're all second place
babe you know that i'm to prize
no one ever loved me and i'm doing just fine

no one ever loved me and i'm doing just fine
no one ever love me and i'm doing just -

fine
you never cross my mind
don't really have the time
'cause i'm doing just fine
Track Name: Fake Lesbian Separatist
i kind of wish i didn't wanna fuck you
'cause your macho bullshit makes wanna die
wanna die
wanna die
kind of wish i was a dyke
fake lesbian separatist

everything can be a tool of
masculinity so
wear your dress i guess
i guess
i guess
i guess
i guess
i guess
i guess
i guess you look pretty hot
in your corset and fishnets

avoid dudes for-for-for-forever
your life will be so much better if you do do do do

functionally straight dude
try me on for size when your bored
when your bored
when your bored
when your bored you can remind me
that your borrowed femininity
is radical while mine can never be

'cause femininity is cool
as long as everyone involved is still a man
still a man
still a man
still a man
still a man
still a man it must be sweet to have your cake and eat it too
i kind of hate you

avoid dudes for-for-for-forever
your life will be so much better if you do do do do

i never knew that looking like a faggot could be weaponized
you make me wanna puke
wanna puke
wanna puke
wanna puke
wanna puke
wanna puke
she let her guard down 'cause she thought you were a gay

but they say that i'm a predator
'cause i have the balls to wear wear a dress i guess
i guess
i guess
i guess
i guess
i guess i'm not as cool as you
i guess
i guess
i guess i'll never catch a break

avoid dudes for-for-for-forever
your life will be so much better if you do do do do do
Track Name: Poison (feat. Joseph Dunn)
i kind of feel like i don't
have to give a shit about
your early-twenties pessimism
unless you can give me something
in return

i'm not your mother and i
don't really wanna be
that kind of role-play doesn't
do it for me

who isn't there for you
who aren't you there for
emotional labour ain't free
you fucking owe me
who wasn't there for you
who weren't you there for
take until there's nothing left
when nothing's left
what doesn't kill me makes me want more

yeah sure i guess i'm lonely
but who the fuck here isn't
do you really think it's worth it
i could grab another blanket
to stay warm

this cynicism doesn't
really serve me but the only
other option is to let them
eat me alive

i could leave this place
vanish without a trace
would you even care
if i wasn't there to repair
your damaged confidence
and suck out the poison
Track Name: 25
the best you can hope for
is a roof over your head
the best you can hope for
is maybe getting out of bed
one day you'll grow up
with normal aspirations
one day you'll grow up

the best you can hope for
is maybe holding down a mediocre job
the best you can hope for
is not wanting to die so actively
one day you will grow up
and you will be free
one day you will grow up

she said your life will suck until you're 25

the best you can hope for
is showing up on time for work
the best you can hope for
is holding others compassionately
one day you will grow up
and they'll catch up to you
one day you'll grow up

she said your life will suck until you're 25
Track Name: Crazy Bitch
i wish i didn't hate everyone but i kind of do
or at least i still kind of maybe hate you
how many bottles of wine did you drink in my tiny apartment
get wasted talk a lot of shit
i'm just like one of the guys so i can handle it
put your life back together like i'm your fucking therapist

i'm not the kind of witch you needed
but the one that you deserved
i miss you but i won't admit
that i'm a crazy bitch

i used to think you were kind of sweet
burn me at the stake i can take the heat
there's nothing you can say that i haven't said better in my head anyway
i've got not time for your impotent rage
how's your fragile ego do you need a band-aid
it'll be okay 'cause you'll grow up someday