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ES​-​tro​-​jen​-​z

by firestarter

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1.
dude you act like i'm contagious and like i kind of wish i was typhoid mary of the gays *coughing* oh hey cool now you like wearing dresses too wanna make out "you'd look hot in some women's lingerie. serious. y'ever think about doin' that?" LOL yeah maybe with my boot planted firmly on your face dude i've been sick for like 5 years chronic pain sapping my strength but this tiny blue pill gives me super powers i am your fucking vengeful god but for like twenty bucks i could absolve you of your guilt consider it an indulgence mother mary full of grace forgive us of our sins like i dunno if you've read many fairytales but you totally need to sacrifice something to the witch so hurry up and make with the presents because i've been listening to you whisper literal nothings in my ear for longer than i'd care to admit
2.
there's no excuse for apathy poor one out for your missed opportunities you think you're pretty special all you do is get drunk if you stayed sober you probably would've got some don't wanna live a normal life don't wanna live a normal lie they're all second place babe you know that i'm to prize no one ever loved me and i'm doing just fine no one ever loved me and i'm doing just fine no one ever love me and i'm doing just - fine you never cross my mind don't really have the time 'cause i'm doing just fine
3.
i kind of wish i didn't wanna fuck you 'cause your macho bullshit makes wanna die wanna die wanna die kind of wish i was a dyke fake lesbian separatist everything can be a tool of masculinity so wear your dress i guess i guess i guess i guess i guess i guess i guess i guess you look pretty hot in your corset and fishnets avoid dudes for-for-for-forever your life will be so much better if you do do do do functionally straight dude try me on for size when your bored when your bored when your bored when your bored you can remind me that your borrowed femininity is radical while mine can never be 'cause femininity is cool as long as everyone involved is still a man still a man still a man still a man still a man still a man it must be sweet to have your cake and eat it too i kind of hate you avoid dudes for-for-for-forever your life will be so much better if you do do do do i never knew that looking like a faggot could be weaponized you make me wanna puke wanna puke wanna puke wanna puke wanna puke wanna puke she let her guard down 'cause she thought you were a gay but they say that i'm a predator 'cause i have the balls to wear wear a dress i guess i guess i guess i guess i guess i guess i'm not as cool as you i guess i guess i guess i'll never catch a break avoid dudes for-for-for-forever your life will be so much better if you do do do do do
4.
i kind of feel like i don't have to give a shit about your early-twenties pessimism unless you can give me something in return i'm not your mother and i don't really wanna be that kind of role-play doesn't do it for me who isn't there for you who aren't you there for emotional labour ain't free you fucking owe me who wasn't there for you who weren't you there for take until there's nothing left when nothing's left what doesn't kill me makes me want more yeah sure i guess i'm lonely but who the fuck here isn't do you really think it's worth it i could grab another blanket to stay warm this cynicism doesn't really serve me but the only other option is to let them eat me alive i could leave this place vanish without a trace would you even care if i wasn't there to repair your damaged confidence and suck out the poison
5.
25 03:40
the best you can hope for is a roof over your head the best you can hope for is maybe getting out of bed one day you'll grow up with normal aspirations one day you'll grow up the best you can hope for is maybe holding down a mediocre job the best you can hope for is not wanting to die so actively one day you will grow up and you will be free one day you will grow up she said your life will suck until you're 25 the best you can hope for is showing up on time for work the best you can hope for is holding others compassionately one day you will grow up and they'll catch up to you one day you'll grow up she said your life will suck until you're 25
6.
Crazy Bitch 04:38
i wish i didn't hate everyone but i kind of do or at least i still kind of maybe hate you how many bottles of wine did you drink in my tiny apartment get wasted talk a lot of shit i'm just like one of the guys so i can handle it put your life back together like i'm your fucking therapist i'm not the kind of witch you needed but the one that you deserved i miss you but i won't admit that i'm a crazy bitch i used to think you were kind of sweet burn me at the stake i can take the heat there's nothing you can say that i haven't said better in my head anyway i've got not time for your impotent rage how's your fragile ego do you need a band-aid it'll be okay 'cause you'll grow up someday

about

firestarter is an apt name for Jaye Kovach's bubblegum-industrial avant-pop project. Her blistering guitar and synths sizzle and sputter out from around raw, thick drum machine beats - ember-like slow-burns radiating intense, glowing heat, and flared-out rave-ups that blaze furiously from a solid core of incandescent punk. It's also a fitting word for Jaye herself; her politically pyrotechnic lyrics on firestarter's first release, 2016's self-released Es-tro-jen-z, bring the album's digitally-mutated hooks into shape with sharp, agile broadsides against tyranny and brutality of all sorts, an explosion of synthetic artistic energy that clears the earth to make way for a better and more meaningfully human tomorrow.

credits

released April 23, 2016

all tracks written and performed by Jaye Kovach except for:

modular synth on track 1 by Ernie Dulanowsky (a.k.a. pulsewidth)
back-up vocals on track 2 by Amber Goodwyn

recorded, mixed and mastered by Jaye Kovach with editing on track 4 by Joseph Dunn.

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all rights reserved

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about

firestarter regina, Saskatchewan

Jaye from Homo Monstrous and Forced Femme.

One time she was banned from the local gay bar because they thought she was planning to burn it down.

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